I have noticed one thing about dogs; when you play with a dog, if you turn the other way and run, the dog will turn and chase you. If you turn around and decided to chase your dog, then he will run from you. The funny thing is that the same behaviors that dogs exhibit I have noticed in human relationships. Do you know any normal people who become border line stalkers in relationships? You may have a friend that calls her significant other between 20 and 30 times a day and the calls are unwanted and unrequited. She shows up at his job just to surprise him with lunch. She buys greetings cards for Ground Hog’s Day, Flag’s Day and she wants to spend every other minor holiday just so that she can spill all her mushy guts to him. She’s wants to spend every waking moment with her guy and she is attached to him closer than a one year old to his/her mom. The poor guy has no breathing space and all of sudden gets the urge to move and leave no forwarding address. The poor girl can’t figure out why he isn’t answering his phone and why he is never home when she stops by. That poor girl needs to find a computer and log on to New Love because we would be glad to explain to her why he isn’t responding to her. The fact is, if you chase a man, he will run away from you.
It is in a man’s basic make up to chase you. They are the hunter; they chase the prey. We are the prey and we are to put up a little resistance. If a big lion was chasing you, you wouldn’t just let him pounce on you. You would run and that is what I suggest you keep in mind when it comes to the opposite sex. Let me explain what I am talking about by giving you a few examples…… Rhonda is at the club with the girls. She hasn’t had a date in a while and beginning to really feel the need for some time with the opposite sex. She is looking good in her mini skirt and is showing some major cleavage. She bounces her leg to the beat. Along walks a guy and asks to buy her a drink. The smile across her face is huge now and she is so excited. After he buys her the drink, they dance the “mating dance”. What is the mating dance? The mating dance can be summed up as having sex with your clothes on. You know what I am talking about it. The dance consists of grinding and “dropping it like it is hot”. The next thing she knows it is morning, her head hurts from all the drinking and she is in bed with him. They say their goodbyes and exchange a few text messages over the next couple of days, but their romance is short lived. Why didn’t their romance last? There was no chase. The guy saw his prey; he moved in on her and she put up no resistance.
Let me tell you how Rhonda should have played it. When the man walked up to her she should of have smiled and been polite. While she was sipping her drink she should have talked to him a little. When they got to the dance floor she should of refrain from doing her normal “drop- it -like-it’s hot dance” and stuck to a basic two step. If you go onto the dance floor and dance extremely sexual and allow the guy to feel all over your goodies, he is going to have a hard time allowing the blood to rush back to his brain. His thoughts are going to be on getting you in the bed and not on getting to know you. As a couple, you want to know each other before getting sexually involved, not vice versa.
This next part is directed at the ladies who try way too hard at the beginning of a new relationship. You don’t want to come across over eager or desperate for a man when starting a new relationship. Women often meet a new man and they are already hoping that he is the one. Because you are hoping that he is the one you try extra hard to try and impress him. You throw caution to the wind and start trying to speed the relationship up. You may even start bringing him gifts, calling him nonstop and chasing after him. Listen up, you are going about winning his heart in the wrong way. You need to breathe take a step back and allow him to pursue you. I know that feeling of wanting to impress someone and gain their approval. That feeling is natural. Most of us don’t want a long string of bad relationships before we find the right person. The problem is if you are too overeager and chase him, he will run. Somewhere in his psyche he will believe if it’s too easy to “catch you,” something must be wrong. He may focus his attention on another woman who’s harder to catch. The women who are harder to catch, will seem like the better catch.
A good example of this can be seen in the movie “He’s Just Not That Into You”. Jennifer Goodwin’s character Gigi is overeager when it comes to men. She often throws herself at the men she likes. Gigi was so eager to have someone special she went to the bar hoping to run into Connor Barry (Kevin Connelly) a man who wouldn’t return her phone calls after their first date. If someone doesn’t return your calls, you should realize that he isn’t interested in starting a relationship. You should then move on to someone who is interested. While Gigi was busy chasing Connor, Connor was busy chasing Scarlett Johansson’s character, Anna. Of course Anna wasn’t interested in him. My guess is Anna wasn’t interested in Connor because he was too easy, eager and available. Anna instead chose to pursue a man who was married and more challenging to catch.
The bottom line is if you chase a man, he will probably run from you. Take your time and take things slowly when starting a new relationship. Don’t tell yourself things like: I am almost thirty, I need to find a man today and I will do whatever it takes to get one. This is the wrong way to think, this thinking will cause you to pursue your guys too ferociously. Instead say something like this: I know I am looking for someone special, but I am going to take things slow and really get to know the next person I date. I don’t want him to run away and I don’t want to settle for just anybody or appear desperate. Take your time, be patient and let him chase you